Insanity Comes A Knockin'
by Jaelawyn Noble
Summary: A crack!fic. It has a lot to do with sugar, Peeps, and a challenge


The World's Nuttiest Tamora Pierce Fan Fic

Jaelawyn Noble [ Jaelawyn@attbi.com ]

Disclaimer: Love 'em, dun own 'em.  
Warnings: Humor  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing:   
Archive:   
Feedback: 'm a whore for it  
Notation: This was a "Challenge" fic. Laurie posted it up in the fourm, and I had nothing better to do - and I was hyper.... still am.... so I wrote it!!!! ^-^ I am proud of this nutty fic... aren't you proud of me?

~

Keladry of Mindelan looked out her window. Her friends Neal and Faleron had found a couple of light sabers, and decided to wreck havoc. They had challenged Joren's lot to a little duel. She laughed as Neal stabbed himself and started cursing out loud.

"Hey!" called Cleon. "Kel! C'mon out and play live-monopoly with us! We've got a huge board out in the practice courts and the pieces are made out of real _sugar!_"

Kel's eyes went as wide as saucers. "Oooooh! Lemme at it!" she cried out, and flipped out her window like Xena, Warrior Princess. She made the sound that the famous Warrior Princess made. "Yeiii, yeiii, yeiii!"

Cleon looked at her, then turned into Darth Maul. "Prepare to die, Xena!" He took out his red glowing light saber and got into position. Xena grinned evilly and took out her blue light saber and they began to battle. She then took out her shockrum and sliced Darth Maul's saber in two.

"Let's Play Monopoly, people!" bellowed a 70 foot tall Mr. Money Bags from the Monopoly game. He began tossing out cards that were as big as a palace. "Go to jail!" he said, pointing at Neal and his bunch. They all suddenly appeared in a jail cell.

Suddenly, the Royal Forest began peeping. Out hopped 30 foot tall giant peeps! Pink, yellow, white, and purple marshmallow bunnies! ATTACK OF THE INSANE PEEPS!!!! Xena – aka Kel – took out her shockrum and whip and began attacking the giant marshmallows. They began to explode, and their gooey insides were thrown all over the place.

Mr. Money Bags smiled evilly. "I shall conquer Tortall! You shall all play Monopoly until you _DIE!!!!!!!!"_

Suddenly, a girl dressed up as the Playboy Bunny, with pixie stixs sticking out of her mouth, and a bag of sugar in her hand hopped around, acting like a weasel. "I am the Weasel! Bow to me! I am the most perfect weasel! I. M. Weasel!!!!!" She then began to hop out of the screen while Xena, Mr. Money Bags, Darth Maul, the Go-To-Jail people, and the marshmallow peeps watched in confusion.

Xena scratched her head, the peeps started to peep to each other, and Darth Maul mourned his staff light saber that was now broken by Xena's shockrum. Mr. Money Bags smiled and started to dance with a marshmallow peep. They began dancing the mamba.

Darth Maul began to whimper like a little baby. "Mommy!" he cried, sniffling and wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I have ta go to the potty!!!!"

A Baby Marshmallow Peep picked Darth Maul up and began crooning to him as she took him to the privies. A scream ripped out of the air. Xena raised her shockrum, an insane look in her eyes. "THE ROMANS ARE ATTACKING! CAESAR SHALL DIEE!!!!!!!!!!! DIE CAESAR!!!!!!!!!!"

Darth Maul came running out, covered in shit. "The privies are broken! They exploded on me!!!!!!" he sat down and began to bawl.

Xena looked at him, disgusted. Then the Go-To-Jail group escaped prison.

"We got a get out of jail free card!" Neal exclaimed. He suddenly turned into a girl. A blonde haired, blue eyed, ditz looking blonde with drool on her mouth. "What's 2 plus 2? Is it 5? Or would that be 10? Oh, I'm so cunfuzed!"

Faleron snorted and then his eyes turned into hearts and he floated in the air, tongue hanging out of his mouth. "Hello Nurse Joy! Or would that be Officer Jenny?"

Owen and Merric turned into Ash and Misty. Misty – Owen – hit Faleron [aka Brock] on the head. "You numbskull! That's some ditz!"

"I love ditz. What's your name, my lovely?" he asked, drooling.

Neal batted her eyes. "Me? Well… I'm T-t-t-t-torrance!" She jumped up, a cheerleading uniform on.

"I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. I'm bitching, great hair, the boys all love to stare. I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything your not. I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest! I'm rockin', I smile, and anything I'm wild. I fly, I jump, you can look, but don't you rock. I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore. We cheer and we lead, we act like we're on speed. Don't hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either! We are cheerleaders! We are… Cheerleaders!" Suddenly a whole squad of peppy, perky cheerleaders joined "Torrance" and began the chant all over again.

Out walked many different playing cards – only they were people. They put trumpets to their lips and began to play a royal fanfare. "MAKE WAY FOR THE QUEEN! MAKE WAY FOR THE QUEEN OF HEARTS!" A playing card screamed. Then they all fell to their chests and bowed down as a bunch of circus elephants walked out in front—their cages had legs, of course.

The Queen of Hearts, the fat roly-poly thing she was, waddled out and gulped down a full bag of jelly beans. She began to cough and suddenly a tornado began to pour out of her mouth just like the evil Mummy! The elephants cages exploded and they began to stampede. Well – some of them. Others began to stand up and dance.

Then Xena saw a black figure creeping up behind the Queen of Hearts.

"Hm… Can I get money for saving that fatty?"

She shrugged. "Whatever." She screamed yeiii, yeiii, yeiii!!!!! And attack the man in black.

Then they were all transported into a dark tunnel. A man came running out. "RUN!!!!!!! A HUGE BOLDER IS ABOUT TO CRUSH US!!!!!!!"

**The End cuz i'm outta ideas....**


End file.
